You Jump, I Jump
by DefyGravity18
Summary: This is the sequel to Hearts Will Go On. The story of Jo Dawson's brother James Calvert Jr. and his journey to finding love and success.
1. Chapter 1

**Hey everyone, not sure when I will update this, but I wanted to get the ball rolling on it before I forgot. This is the sequel to Hearts Will Go On. It's Jamie's story. I thought it would be nice for the prologue to be told from the point of view of the ten year old Jo. Enjoy. **

* * *

**Jo Dawson, upon the birth of James Calvert Jr., March 21, 1923**

He was the strangest thing I had ever seen. I'd never been around babies. Mama was so tired, I'd never seen her so tired. But she was happy and so was Dad, so I was happy. Jim was my stepfather, but I never called him anything but Dad after he married Mama.

"Jo, what do you think of your brother?" Mama asked me as I was ushered in by Dad.

"Oh," I said, peering down as I climbed onto the bed to sit beside Mama. Her arm went around me as I moved closer into the warmth of her body.

"This is James." She said softly, smiling affectionately at me as if trying to put me into her memory forever.

"He's funny looking…his face is all bunched up." I said, noting the reddish, wrinkled look of his face against the bright red of his hair. I heard Dad chuckle.

"Sweetheart, he was just born. He'll look different in a few days…" He said, brushing a stray curl from my face. I smiled.

"I sure hope so, poor baby." I said, as Mama kissed my cheek.

"Will you help me take care of him like a good big sister?" She asked. I nodded.

"Yes of course." I replied as if it were the most natural thing in the world. She smiled, handing the baby to Daddy as she pulled me into her lap. I was quite big by then, ten years old, and it surprised me that she wanted to hold me like this.

"You know Jo…if you're jealous of the new baby…it's okay baby. But I want you to know that no one could ever take your place…no matter how many babies we have." Mama said, crying a bit. I looked up at Dad who smiled.

"It's true Jo. You will be loved equally." I blinked at them in confusion, looking down at Mama, thinking.

"But…why would I be jealous? I don't understand…" I said. Mama and Dad shared a look, he nodded at her with a grin and as she sobbed, she hugged me so tightly, I began to gasp. "Mama! Mama…_Ma!_"

"What darling?" She sniffled.

"You sucking the life outta me!" I choked. She laughed, letting go of me.

"Give me a kiss." She said, as I obliged. As Dad took me for some lunch, he explained.

"Your Mom is just a bit emotional after having the baby…it's normal sweetie." He said, handing me my drink.

I began to see why I would be jealous, however, a few weeks after James came home. I was practicing my cursive for school, when I came to the letter "z" and couldn't figure it out. Dad was at work and Mama was cooking dinner.

"Mama?" I asked, frowning.

"What is it Jo?" She asked tiredly.

"I can't figure…" I was cut off, however by the shrill cry of my brother.

"Hold on, darling." She said and left the room before I could get another word out. After a bit, she returned, looking even more tired than before and returned to the stove.

"Mama, I can't figure out how…" I began again and was once again cut off by Dad coming into the house.

"Hello?" He called. "Everything alright?"

"Fine!" Mama called back, smoothing her hair back.

"Mama…"

"Rose, I think the baby is crying!" Dad called from the other room.

"Damn." Mama muttered.

"Mama, I need help with my cursive!" I cried, frustrated. She spun on me, her eyes bloodshot and exhausted.

"Damn it, Josephine, I will talk to you in a minute, right now the baby needs me!" She yelled angrily. I knew she wasn't really angry at me, but it stung all the same. Tears filled my eyes. "Jo…" She said in a softer voice, looking regretful.

"No!" I screamed at her, upset. "The baby _always_ needs you Mama! Well, maybe _I_ need you too! But you don't care anymore because you have your stupid ole baby!" I threw the notebook at her and left her gaping as I flew past Dad up the stairs into my room and flung myself on the bed to sob my heart out into the pillow. I thought of my real father, whom I had no picture or vision of. He was just some faceless stranger who had died before I was born. For the first time, however, I wished he was there to hold me and comfort me. I knew that if Jack was there, that I could tell him anything. But Jack wasn't there and I was alone…and now my mother probably hated me. A knock on my door brought my face up from the tear soaked pillow.

"Jo?" Mama's husky voice came through the door. I could tell she'd been crying too.

"Go away!" I yelled, wanting to stay angry at her and merely succeeding at becoming angry with myself instead. I knew I was acting a spoiled brat, but in my innocence, I didn't care. The door opened anyway and I heard her walk in, though I kept my face in the pillow. I felt her sit on my bed and touch one of my braids.

"Jo…"

"Leave me alone." I sobbed resentfully. "I don't want to see you!"

"Well I want to see you…I'm sorry for being harsh with you." She said, swallowing a sob.

"No you're not! You've hardly said two words to me since Jamie was born!" I accused, sitting up and turning to face her. Her pale face was streaked with tears.

"I know...it's been a bit overwhelming…"

"I wish my real father was here!" I blurted and she looked as if I had slapped her.

"W-what?"

"I wish my father was alive!" I said, glaring at her. "I bet _he_ would pay attention to me! But he's _dead_! And I've got no one!"

"But Jo…you've got me…" She reached out to touch my hand and I pulled away.

"_You _told me we would be loved equally, but it sure seems like you love him more. You're always showing _him_ off…you're always cuddling him. I'm nothing. I'm just the stupid kid that sits by herself in the kitchen while everyone fawns over the baby. Well you know what Mama?" I wanted to hurt her as she'd hurt me. "I hate your stupid baby…and I hate _you_!" I could hear her gasp as I looked away.

"You don't mean that Jo." She said quietly.

"Don't I? What good am I?" I asked, biting my lip to keep it from quivering.

"What _good _are you? Jo, you are so special to me…you were my first…you're the reason…" She stopped herself. "You gave me hope to go on when I didn't have the strength. You _saved _me." Touching my shoulder, she met my eyes. "You don't understand now…but someday, you will. You will understand just how special you are to me. My goodness Jo…I love you so much, it kills me. And if you hate me…" Her voice broke. "I just don't know what I'll do with myself. I'm so sorry for hurting your feelings, Jo."

Now I felt like an even bigger brat, but I threw myself into her warmth as her arms clasped me tightly.

"I'm so sorry Mama…I love you! I don't hate you! I'm sorry, I'm such a bad daughter!" I buried my head into her shoulder and let my body wrack with such violent sobs, I began to hiccup for breath and her grip on my tightened.

"Hush…" She replied calmly. "You are the most wonderful daughter in the world. And I meant what I said," She whispered. "No one will ever take your place…but you must make room in your heart for your brother…he's so little…he needs Daddy and you and I to care for him. He's not strong like you Jo…he can't take care of himself."

"Well that's…true." I admitted grudgingly as she used her thumbs to clear the tears from my eyes.

"I promise to give you more time during the day though." Mama said. "I know it's hard. I remember when it was just you and I…but now we have Dad and Jamie…it's all my fault for forgetting how much you need your mother."

"It's okay." I said, sitting in her lap and allowing her to baby me. She began to play with my braids. "I'm sorry for being a brat." I added, resting my head against her shoulders.

"You're never a brat, Jo…" She replied. "I'll tell you what." She said, making me look up at her. "Oh those eyes…" She murmured with a smile. "After dinner, you and I will spend the rest of the night together. I'll tell Daddy to watch after the baby."

"Really?" I asked hopefully. It wasn't that I hated the baby, I just missed my mother.

"We could bake some cookies together if you'd like."

"Oh, _could _we?" I asked. She nodded and took my hand. "Now about those z's…"


	2. James Todd Calvert Jr

**James Todd Calvert Jr. **

"_A man is not considered good by the things he can buy, but the things he does for others. Remember this James…and you'll never go wrong." _

That was the last thing my father ever said to me. I was six years old and he was tucking me into bed. My mother was already asleep as she was heavily pregnant and exhausted. I didn't understand what he meant then, but as I grew, it became more and more apparent. My parents, sister and I settled into Cedar Rapids when I was nearly a year old from California and my fondest memory of living there was when Dad would take Jo and I to the Art Museum and we would stand there, holding hands and gaping at the beautiful paintings and sculptures. We were so very young then, I four and Jo fourteen. My mother had been married and widowed before meeting my father and Jo had been the result of her first marriage. I was oblivious of this until I once heard my mother say to Jo with a smirk, 

"If your father were alive, I would imagine he would lean against the doorframe the exact same way." 

Confused in my innocence, I asked Mama what she meant and she sat me down and gently explained that when she was very young, she had been married and that her husband had sadly been lost in a terrible accident. 

"But then I met your Daddy and he loves Jo just as much as he loves you." She said, her eyes kind with patience. 

"Well, that's good." I said, still not understanding everything, but at that time, I was too young to care. 

The night my father died, I couldn't sleep. He hadn't been home to tuck me in, and Jo had had to make do so Mama could sleep. She read me a book, before standing to leave. Before she left the room, however, I called out to her. 

"Jo?" She stopped, turning back to me. 

"What's wrong Jamie?" She asked, coming back. 

"Where's Daddy?" I asked, ignoring the frantic feeling of dread in my stomach. 

"He's…he's just running late that's all, James." Her voice sounded a bit uneasy as well. 

"Do you think he's okay?" I blurted, sitting up in the bed. Gently, she guided me to lay down by the shoulders, her red hair spilling over her shoulders. 

"Sure…I'll bet he'll be home any minute." She said, touching my forehead affectionately. "Night Jamie." 

"G'night Jo." I replied, and stared at the ceiling after she'd gone. I must have dozed off because I jolted awake later to hear a pounding on the front door below. Slowly, as if in a dream, I got out of the bed and padded out to the stairs, perching on the top stair. I heard a man talking to Mama. 

"He tried to stop the criminal, not realizing he had a gun and was shot three times…once in the chest and twice in the arm." My mother's gasp was audible and just below, I could see Jo crouching in the shadows listening as well. 

"Is he…" Mama trailed off. 

"There was nothing we could do. He asked us to give you this before he died." I tried to register this, in my six year old mind. My father, my Daddy, my hero was gone…dead. Just like Jo's Daddy before. I would never see him again. My heart began to pound as my eyes began to burn with unshed tears. I sobbed into the top step for a few long minutes after the police had left until I heard Mama's voice call out. 

"Jamie?" She sounded worried. "Is that you?" I made myself quiet, but she came to the stairs and looked up into my tear soaked face. Her face fell as she realized that I knew. Holding out her arms, she moved to the bottom of the stairs. "Come here." She beckoned and I ran to her, allowing her to catch me up in her arms. I could feel the baby moving within her as she held me tightly. "You know, don't you?" She was crying and it was worse for me because she was upset. All I could do was nod. "Oh God, you know…oh my God…this isn't happening again…I can't…I can't do this." She sank to sit on the bottom step with me in her lap. Jo moved over to sit beside her and put her arms around us. 

"You _can_ do this Mama…" Jo said in a completely different voice. "You're strong…you can." I think Jo was more trying to convince herself than to convince Mama. The fear in her eyes was clear. "I'll get a job, I'll…give up everything…" She whispered. Mama's head snapped toward her. 

"Josephine, don't you ever talk like that again. My children will never give up their dreams just because life is unkind." She pulled me up to look at her and gripped both of our arms tightly. "Listen to me, both of you." I looked at Jo, who looked completely dumbfounded, her light blue eyes reddened with tears. "You are going to promise me right now…_promise_...that you won't give up…no matter what happens…no matter how hopeless…promise." Both of us stared at her as in complete confusion. "_Now!_" 

"Okay!" Jo cried, wincing as her arm was obviously pinched. Mama turned her eyes to me. 

"James?" She asked, expectantly. I reached out a small hand to wipe the tear falling down her cheek. 

"Okay Mama…anything you say." I said. I didn't cry again until the day of the funeral. The casket was open and we were the first to go into the church. He looked like he was sleeping, and that he might wake up any moment. Jo looked as if she were going to be sick and quickly left the room with the help of her best friend Dave Stirling. Mama and I stood side by side, holding hands and looking into that awful box that was holding the remains of my father. I moved forward and looked into his peaceful face and closed my eyes, thinking of our fishing trip in the summer. He'd taken me to Lake Michigan in Wisconsin. We'd camped out and had a fire and ate cooked trout. It was the best time of my life. It seemed unreal that he would never open his eyes and laugh again. The sight of him sleeping forever overwhelmed me and I buried my faced into my mother's side to rid myself of the sight. When I closed my eyes, I still saw him. 

After the funeral, I couldn't seem to keep myself away from my mother and that night, both my sister and I slept with her in her bed. The next month was very strange and seemed to go by in a blur. Christmas was very quiet and though I was very happy with the toys I got from Santa Claus, it had seemed so very empty. Jo went to bed early and Mama was reading a book. Sometime after I had fallen asleep, Jo came to my room and woke me. 

"Jamie…get up…we have to go to the hospital. Mama's having the baby." My eyes opened, but I didn't register what she was saying. Numbly, I got up and began to dress myself, with some help from her. Jo carried me to the car and got into the backseat with me as our neighbor drove us to the hospital. We waited for hours as we slept awkwardly in the waiting room chairs. As the sun began to rise, however, a nurse approached us and leaned down to speak with Jo. 

"Mrs. Calvert is finished and resting." She explained coldly, eyeing me like vermin. "See that you keep that child quiet." She added before walking away. Jo glared at her, taking my hand and leading me to Mama's room. In her arms was a small bundle which was obviously a baby. 

"Hello, you two." She said tiredly, smiling at us. Jo smiled, guiding me toward the bed. 

"How are you Ma?" She asked, leaning down to kiss Mama's cheek. 

"Better now it's over." Mama replied, beaming down at me weakly. "Jamie, do you want to meet your brother?" 

"B-brother?" I asked cautiously, afraid she would take it back. I had wished for a brother to play with. Not that Jo wasn't great, but she was still a girl and girls simply didn't like to do all the things that boys do. I peered over Mama's arm to look down at the new person in our lives. His hair was dark, like Daddy's had been, and his eyes were blue like Mama's. 

"Oh Ma, he is so cute!" Jo said flopping into the chair beside the bed. I didn't know what I was supposed to do or how I should react, so I simply stood in silence. I noticed a flash of concern in my mother's eyes as she looked at me. 

"Jamie, are you alright?" Her voice was gentle. I only nodded. 

"When can I play with him?" I asked innocently, making them both laugh. 

"In a few months dear." She said easily, pulling me to her with her free arm and kissing my red hair. "Any ideas on what to name this little person?"

"I don't know…" I said uncertainly. And I really did have no clue. Mama smiled at me sweetly. His name ended up being Luke. He was my brother and when we brought him home…everything changed. _Everything._


	3. Changing with the World

Moving right along with this...remember...Jamie's story doesn't truly start until he's older. lol We're still in the Hearts Will Go On timeline. It will be a little choppy until then. Also, keep in mind that this part of the story is being told by a ten year old boy, so it won't be eloquent and lovely. Bear with me.

* * *

**3 years later**

"Philadelphia?" I asked, wondering if I'd heard Mama right.

"Yes, James. We're going to go to Philadelphia for a little while." Mama replied calmly, sitting Luke down to brush through his thick brown curls.

"Where is that even at?" I asked, irritated.

"Pennsylvania." Jo said without even looking up from the book she was reading. Her long hair hung over her shoulder in a messy plait.

"What about school?" I went on, intent on questioning them until I understood why we would up and leave home in the middle of the school year.

"You'll have lessons with a tutor until we come home. I've already cleared things with your school." Mama responded quickly.

"Mama stop!" Luke cried, agitated. He was nearly three now and never shut up.

"Jo, can you take Luke so that I can pack the boys?" Mama asked, clearly frazzled. Jo nodded calmly, sweeping Luke up and tickling him.

"Are you going to behave?" She asked him teasingly.

"No…" Luke giggled. I rolled my eyes.

"What a brat." I muttered, following Mama up the stairs.

"Jamie, my love…be patient with your brother…he does look up to you." She gently urged. I scowled.

"Fine. But that doesn't mean I'm going to like him." I was cranky and for good reason! Moving to Pennsylvania? Away from my friends at school? Away from home?

"You'll have fun, darling." Mama said, taking out my suitcase and beginning to pack.

"No! I won't!" I cried, rushing forward to stop her. "I won't know _anyone_ and I'll be stuck with dumb ole Luke! Jo don't even talk to me no more." A loud sigh came from her.

"Jo _doesn't _even talk to me _anymore._" She corrected and I felt my face flush.

"That's all you have to say, Mama? You don't even care that I'm mad?"

"Jamie…" She said quietly, sitting on the bed and guiding me to sit beside her. "You are such a special boy…but Jo deserves this chance. This…" She stopped, looking into her hands. "This may be her only chance. I don't want her to miss it. I would do the same for you and Luke." I began to feel a horrible guilty feeling in the pit of my stomach as I thought of Jo. Jo, who went to work everyday after school to help Mama pay bills. Jo, who read to Luke and I every night before bed and told us stories about Daddy. As much as I hated to admit it, Jo did deserve a chance. And her drawings were really good. I wasn't much of an artist. Oh, I did the art projects in school, but they never seemed to come out looking like Jo's. Once, she tried to show me how to draw like her, but I couldn't seem to get it. She told me I was really good, but deep down, I knew she was lying.

"Okay." I said after a long while.

"Okay?" Mama asked, looking down at me with her ice colored eyes.

"I'll go to Philadelphia." I muttered. A small smile came to her lips.

"Aren't you the sweet little guy?" She asked, putting an arm around my shoulders.

"I'm _not_ sweet." I said sulkily. "And I'm not _little._"

"Of course not…" She comforted, resting her cheek on my head.

* * *

In the end, we ended up in Philadelphia a couple of weeks before Christmas. Jo started her lessons straight away, leaving us with Mama at Mrs. Banks's house during the day and at the hotel at night. Mrs. Banks was Jo's aunt, and she insisted on us calling her Aunt Livvy. I told myself I would hate her no matter what, but she was pretty and had gold colored hair with light eyes that reminded me of Jo. She also had this way of making you feel good about yourself as if she were a sort of guardian angel. We went to her during the day and surprisingly, she herself gave me school lessons. I found myself looking forward to seeing Aunt Livvy each morning and learning more about her.

"Aunt Livvy?" I asked one afternoon as we were finishing history lessons.

"Yes dear?" She asked, sitting beside me.

"Why don't you have any kids?" Her eyes became shadowed with grief and I instantly regretted my question.

"Oh, James…I wasn't able to have children darling." She said quietly. My childish curiosity got the better of me and I asked.

"But why not?" Mama had appeared in the doorway with Luke and gave me a look of warning.

"James…" She said. Aunt Livvy smiled at her.

"No…it's quite alright Rose. He's just made a little observation." She replied patiently, though she sounded oddly choked. "You see, Jamie, my darling…when Uncle Grant and I were first married, I found out I was going to have a baby shortly after. But I had a fall and my baby died…and…" She sighed. "The doctor said that we wouldn't be able to have any more children."

"Oh, Olivia…" Mama breathed, looking pained as she came to her, setting Luke down beside me. "How far along were you?"

"Seven months." Aunt Livvy whispered. "I had to give birth to a stillborn."

"Oh my God." Mama whispered, looking at me. I had no idea what "stillborn" meant, but it couldn't have been good. I watched a single tear run down her smooth cheek and I hated myself then for hurting her.

"I'm sorry, Aunt Livvy…" I said miserably, blinking back tears of self hatred. "You would have been the best mother…"

"Oh sweetheart." Aunt Livvy said patiently, pulling me into an embrace so like one of Mama's. "It's all right now." Standing, she composed herself admirably and smiled at all of us. "Well then, who wants something to eat?"

"I do! I do!" Luke cried excitedly, finally interested at something he understood. Mama laughed, taking my hand.

"What do you say?" She asked him firmly.

"Um…please?" He asked, giving her his most angelic grin. I scowled at him. Mama raised an eyebrow at him, but I noticed a smirk threatened to emerge as she looked down at me for my opinion. I simply made a noise of irritation and she laughed.

"Oh James, you are so like me." She said with a smile. "I had that temper when I was your age."

"Not to mention that beautiful red hair." Aunt Livvy chipped in, looking from her to me. "I envy you."

"You wouldn't if you had red hair." Mama laughed, pulling Luke along as we followed Aunt Livvy to the kitchen.

* * *

To my surprise, Aunt Liz and Uncle Randy were waiting for us back at the hotel with Dave, who was my idol. He was everything I ever wanted to be when I grew up and he was the closest thing I had to an older brother. Mama excused herself into the bedroom to get ready for the dinner party that she and Jo were going to that night.

"Hey sport." He said, looking up when we walked into the room.

"Dave! What are you doing here?" I asked, trying to sound casual and hide my excitement. He chuckled.

"Your Mom thought it would be good for Jo to have a friend here, so she secretly invited my parents. Not to mention, I wanted to see my best guy friends, Jimmy and Luke." He winked at me and shook my hand before he too went to change into a tuxedo. I swelled with manly pride. Well, as manly as a ten year old could be. Dave was the only person who ever called me Jimmy with the exception of Jo when she and Dave were around each other. Daddy was called Jim, so I felt sort of close to him when he said that.

Jo arrived soon after we got back, bursting with energy. She looked as if a huge weight had been lifted from her shoulders.

"Hey Jamie!" She sang out as she saw me. I stared at her sullenly, jealous that I had to stay in that night.

"Hi." I sulked, my arms crossed. She grinned and kissed me on the cheek. A kiss I quickly wiped off with the sleeve of my shirt.

"Josephine, is that you?" Mama called out desperately.

"Yes Ma, is everything all right?" She asked, setting her folder on one of the end tables and disappearing into the bedroom where Mama was. I heard a laugh and then I heard Jo gushing to Mama about her stupid art teacher. I rolled my eyes. He probably wasn't as good as Aunt Livvy. She was a painter. Next, I heard a squeal as Jo realized Dave and his parents were here. Luke looked up, curious for a moment, before reverting his attention back to his tower of blocks.

They left not long after arriving, leaving us with Aunt Liz and Uncle Randy, who were always fun. At least there was that. Uncle Randy taught me how to play Blackjack while Aunt Liz played with Luke.

"Where is Lindy?" I asked aloud. Aunt Liz smiled.

"She's staying with a friend back home." She replied.

"We'll see how long they can handle her…" Uncle Randy replied wryly. The two exchanged a glance and laughed out loud.

"Teenagers." They said at the same time.

* * *

Later that night, after I'd fallen asleep next to Luke, there was a loud knock at the door to our hotel suite. I heard voices and then Mama fighting with someone. The door opened suddenly and I pretended to be asleep, light spilling into the dark room. Luke didn't even stir. I envied his ability to sleep through anything and everything. I felt someone sit on the edge of my bed after closing the door. She sighed loudly.

"Jo?" I whispered, sitting up. She turned to me.

"What is it James?" She asked tiredly. I swallowed hard.

"Is Mama cryin'?" I asked and Jo hesitated, confirming my suspicions.

"She's got company and I was coming to see how you're feeling." I had begun to feel sick over the course of the night and Aunt Liz had said my head felt warm to the touch. My eyelids felt so heavy I could barely keep them open as I spoke to my sister.

"Jus' tired, Jo. I'm tired…" I said with a yawn. She moved up to lay between Luke and I. She wrapped her arms around me as she used to do when I was very little and stroked my hair back from my face.

"Then sleep…just sleep."

* * *

Luke and I both woke before Jo did and decided to play jacks for a bit until she woke up. However, our quiet resolve, soon became excited chatter as we got better at the game. I heard her grunt and sit up, as did Luke, who ran to her, abandoning our game, the filthy little traitor. She patted my head as she passed and shut our door softly behind her.

After Jo had left for her lessons, Mama decided to take us shopping for treats for being so good for Aunt Liz and Uncle Randy before we headed over to Aunt Livvy's. She took us into a candy store and we were allowed to pick out some taffy as well as a lollipop! Mine was green and yellow. Luke's was stupid, it was green and _pink_. Everyone knew pink was for girls. Excitement bubbled in my stomach, however, because Aunt Livvy and Uncle Grant were having a ball tonight and we were all going to stay at their house! We were even allowed to attend!

I didn't like seeing Jo all dressed up. It didn't look like her at all. After so many years of seeing her with a long braid and grubby pants, it was odd to see her with her hair perfectly pinned and her dresses tailored exactly to her. She looked like Mama, but when she smiled, it was just Jo. It was amazing to me how two people could look so much alike while looking so very different all at once. Sure, Jo was kind of annoying in a sisterly kind of way and she was a little bossy sometimes, but Luke and I adored her anyway. Even when she drove us crazy. My favorite thing about her was that I would tell her about some imaginary world I had created and she would draw it for me and place it on my pillow before bed, so I could dream about it. Together, she and I had created so many exotic lands, we could barely keep them straight anymore.

Once, we created a magical ship that appeared out of nowhere when people were in trouble at sea. I was the captain, of course, and Jo was my first mate. I decided to show it to Mama, and for some reason, she became all teary eyed even though she said it was wonderful. I felt guilty for it and I didn't even know why. Jo told me it was because Mama had been in a horrible shipwreck when she was very young. I hadn't known…but I never brought it up again in front of Mama.

Jo and I both knew for a very long time that Mama had nightmares. They had gone away for a long time and then, when Daddy died, they had started again and she would cry out in the night. Sometimes she would call for Daddy and sometimes she would cry out for Jo's father, Jack. I barely ever heard Mama speak of Jack. In fact, she had never spoken of him directly to me. I had happened to witness one of her night terrors and asked Jo about it early the next morning.

"Jo?" I had said over breakfast.

"What is it?"

"Who's Jack?" I asked, biting into my toast. She looked up, surprised.

"Where did you hear about him?" She asked curiously.

"Mama called for him last night." I replied and her face darkened.

"Oh…you heard that?" She asked. I nodded. "Well, Jack was my father."

"How?" I asked. She looked confused.

"Well, Mama was married before she met Daddy…I was just a little girl when she married Dad." Her eyes misted, talking about Daddy, whose death was so fresh in our minds.

"Oh…I didn't know. I thought Daddy was your father." I exclaimed dumbly. She smiled fondly.

"He was Jamie…in every way possible."

"Jo?" I asked again. Expectantly, she looked at me. "I miss him."

"Me too buddy." She said with a sigh.

Now, as I stared at her in her pretty dress, I almost wished she was wearing her tired old pants and suspenders with her ratty boots. She seemed ill at ease with these people. I missed the old Jo. I missed my sister who drew me pictures from my imagination and sang silly songs with me as we helped Mama with dinner. She looked so somber and sad all of a sudden and I had no idea why. And I felt helpless. I wanted us all to be happy again…especially Mama.


	4. The Start of Ever After

Sorry about the wait!! Enjoy.

* * *

Aunt Liz and Uncle Randy stayed with us all day the next day, while Mama ran errands. She was buying Christmas presents. I knew it. I had asked her for a toy fire truck, and somehow I knew she would get it. She arrived home shortly before Jo did looking excited.

"Mama!!" Luke cried, running into her arms. She grinned at us mischievously.

"Do I have a surprise for you two!" She said, sitting on the plush carpet with Luke in her lap. Staring at her, I waited.

"Well?" I asked impatiently. She looked seventeen again.

"We are going to Olivia's house tonight!! She's invited the two of you to spend the night there as well as the full day tomorrow." My stomach bubbled with excitement.

"Really?" I cried as Luke clapped.

"Yes," She said reaching for my hand. "And, you two are going to see Santa Claus in a few days at the department store!" My eyes widened. I had never seen Santa up close before.

"He has time to come to Philadelphia and see us?" I asked incredulously. She nodded.

"Well, you'll have to tell him what you want somehow won't you?" Her blue eyes glistened as she winked at me.

I liked Philadelphia, I really did, but I couldn't help noticing how much Jo was gone. She barely ever had time to say hello and goodbye to us. I missed her…but I understood.

Aunt Olivia was ready for us when we got there, and she'd set up a small playroom for us in the upper level of her house. There were toys and blocks and games for us to play. She snuck out of the party quite a few times to come and see us. It was the most fun I'd had since Dad had died.

As luck would have it, we ended up moving into the house to stay for the rest of our trip. It was a whirlwind, and I could barely think straight with all of the changes being made around me. Jo and Dave became engaged just before we left our hotel suite, and though I would have loved to have Dave as my older brother, something felt really off. Jo wasn't herself. My sister was one of those people who could smile through anything…and she just didn't smile anymore. I know my mother noticed, because she would frown every time Jo avoided her eyes. I noticed how pale she had become too…and her cheeks looked bony to me.

Aunt Livvy hired a young Irish woman named Lillian to give us school lessons every day and to keep us company. She was nice and her voice was pretty to listen to when she spoke.

Before I knew it, it was Christmas Eve and Mama said she had a surprise for us. We took a cab to the local department store and a burst of excitement coursed through me as I realized we were going to see Santa Claus. Luke was still somewhat confused on the whole Santa thing, but he was interested all the same. I told Santa what I wanted without trouble, but Luke couldn't say anything. He simply stared at the kindly old man until Mama gently lifted him up. As we walked away from Santa, Luke began to cry that he wouldn't get anything for Christmas and Mama made him look at her.

"Now I won't get nothing…" Luke cried. Ever patient, our mother kissed him on the forehead and ruffled his brown hair.

"Of course you will Darling. Santa knows…" She bent to set him down just as a man was thrown into her by another shopper. The shopping bags with Jo's presents fell, but the man caught Mama around the waist and set her to rights. He had gold colored hair that fell nearly to the nape of his neck and probably a day's worth of stubble. I saw his face, but Mama was feverishly trying to pick up her bags.

"Sorry…" The man said, bending over. "Let me get that for you." Picking up the bag with ease, he handed it to her and then I noticed his eyes widen for a moment. Before Mama could look up to thank him, he had disappeared into the throng of shoppers.

"Now, that was odd." She observed aloud.

"He must have been in a hurry." I said with a shrug. My mother looked dumbfounded, staring forlornly at the spot where the man had just stood.

"Odd…" She murmured before turning back to the task at hand. "Come on then you two. We have to get home to help Olivia decorate the tree."

I couldn't sleep that night. I was too excited. Christmas was my favorite time of year and I thought if I listened very carefully that I would be able to hear Santa on the roof. No such luck, however, and I don't remember falling asleep, but I woke when I saw the first rays of sun in my room. Luke and I woke up Jo and met Mama and Aunt Olivia and Uncle Grant by the tree.

The following day Luke turned three. Jo had been gone all day long, missing Luke's birthday cake and presents. Which was unlike her. Even further, she came home later that evening upset and swore at Mama. I was playing with one of my new toys when Jo flew into the house. Mama looked up from her book, worried and stood.

"Jo!"

"Leave me alone!" Jo responded, bounding up the stairs. I had never heard her use a harsh tone with our mother, so I felt like something was very wrong in the world at the time. I followed Mama up to her room.

"Jo, are you alright? What happened? Where were you?" Mama's questions were like rapid fire, one right after the other. Finally, Jo opened the door, her eyes red rimmed and I lingered in the doorway as Mama entered the room.

"What happened Jo?" Mama asked gently. No answer. "Jo?" She asked again, her voice rising. Jo shook her head tightly. "Josephine Margaret Dawson, you had been start talking."

"Jesus, Mother!" Jo cried angrily, lashing out at our mother who had done nothing but worry about her daughter. "Can't you let me be?" She sobbed. "I am not a child, damn it!" Instant regret filled Jo's eyes as she reached out to Mama. "Ma, I…I'm sorry, I…"

"I'll just leave you to your thoughts Josephine." Mama said coldly, backing away and brushing past me. Jo crumbled onto the bed, looking down. A moment later, she must have noticed me, because she looked up. Anger filled me.

"You're mean!" I spat at her. Tears filled her light eyes as she nodded. When she spoke, her voice sounded choked.

"I know Jamie…" She whispered. "I'm sorry." With a sigh, I went to sit beside her.

"I miss Daddy, Jo. Nothing has been the same since Dad died. Mama's lonely all the time and I just wish she were happy again." I said miserably.

"I miss him too." She agreed. "Sometimes I don't know who I am anymore Jamie." I only stared at her, trying to think of something to say. I remembered our conversation about how Mama had been married before.

"Daddy wasn't really your Dad, Jo…" I said. "Was he?"

"Oh, he was…in everyway he could have been." She said, swallowing hard. "But no…he wasn't my biological father. My real father died even before I was born."

"What is a biological father?" I asked, confused.

"Um..I don't…" She began, before taking a breath. "When a mother and a father decide to have a baby…it's the dad who decides to make the baby with the mom." I was still confused but at least she had answer. I simply shrugged.

"Okay…" I decided to leave her alone. "I'm going to go play with Luke."

New Years Eve came just as quickly as Christmas had and with it came even more alterations to my life.

I was awakened by Aunt Olivia on New Years Day, as she told me to help Luke get dressed and to dress myself because we had to go to the hospital. I stared at her in confusion until she finally said,

"Jo was hurt last night and is in the hospital." Dread filled my stomach as I got dressed quickly, before helping my brother dress. Jo looked like death. She was white as a ghost and barely looked like she was breathing. I stayed toward the edge of the hospital room, while Mom and the blonde man I recognized from the department store hovered around her bed, checking her every so often.

"Mama?" I asked shakily and she looked toward us, tearfully before sweeping us both into a crushing embrace.

"Oh my boys…are you alright?"

"We're fine." I said, peering at Jo. "What's wrong with Jo?" Mama exchanged a glance with the man before saying.

"Your sister fell through some ice. She's going to be okay…" I noticed Jonathan Hockley asleep in a chair nearby as well as Mama resumed her spot beside Jo's bed.

"Jamie, Luke…" Mama said tiredly. "This is Mr. Dawson. He's a…er…a friend of mine."

"You're Jo's Daddy aren't you?" I asked, knowing in my heart I was right. The man nodded. "I thought so." I said, sitting beside Mama and touching Jo's cold hand.

"You're just like your mother, aren't you?" He asked, looking more than a bit amused. I looked at Mama in confusion. He chuckled and sat in a metal chair, crossing his legs. A nurse came into the room to check on Jo, before turning on Mr. Dawson.

"Here is some medicine for that cold, Mister…um…"

"It's Dawson." He said, reaching for the medicine. "Thank you." He said kindly to her.

"So, what are your plans?" Mama asked Mr. Dawson. He swallowed and cracked his knuckles.

"I'm moving to Boston." He said after a beat. "I'm taking responsibility…"

"Oh." Mama sounded somewhat disappointed.

"It's the right thing to do." He said quietly. She nodded, brushing her hair out of her face.

"What about Jo?" She asked. He looked at my sleeping sister.

"If I had my way, she'd never leave my side again…" His answer was simple. "But she's twenty…and if he is any indication," He nodded at Jonathan, "then she won't be single much longer." Mr. Dawson leaned forward. "I want you to know…Rose…that I am secretly hoping you won't make me move to Boston alone."

"What do you mean?" Mama asked.

"You know what I mean, Rose." He said seriously, unsmiling.

"It's too soon to talk about this, Jack." She replied quietly. "After she wakes up, we'll cross that bridge." He nodded.

"Absolutely."

A few hours later, the door burst open and Dave was there with a blonde girl. They were both pale and sick looking, but Mama ushered them both into the room and asked if they were hungry, if they needed anything. They shook their heads as Dave let go of the girl's hand and crept to Jo's bedside. Sitting in the chair Mama had abandoned, he took Jo's hand and I noticed him swallow really hard.

"Jo." He whispered. "You've got to wake up…okay?"

"The doctor said she should wake up soon. He checked her and she's going to be fine." Mr. Dawson assured Dave. He only nodded and wiped his eyes with the back of his sleeve. Jonathan was standing by the window staring out when the blonde girl walked over to him and tentatively touched his arm. He jumped, but bent to hug her.

"Thank goodness Gloria…are you alright?" He asked, pulling back to look down at her.

"As well as can be expected. My mother is horrified by what Father did." She explained in a tiny voice. I felt bad for her. Dave joined them, putting an arm protectively around her back.

"It wasn't her fault." Jonathan replied, nodding at Dave. "Take care of this one…"

"I will." Dave promised. "We actually want to get married as soon as possible, so we might go to the city hall in a bit…"

"There's a chapel in the hospital." Mama cut in. "It would save you time. You two are in no condition to travel." Gloria looked hopeful with this.

"Oh, could we? I'm so tired…"

"Of course." Dave said. "Rose, could you come with us to talk to someone about it?"

"Yes." Mama said, eyeing Luke and I. She bit her lip.

"I'll be right back. You all just stay here." She said and left the room. Dave walked over to Mr. Dawson and held out his hand.

"I'm Dave Stirling…Jo and I have been best friends since we were babies." Mr. Dawson accepted his hand and shook it.

"I'm Jack Dawson…I'm…Jo's dad." Dave stared at him for a few minutes, absorbing what he was hearing.

"She said you'd died." His confused reply came.

"They thought I had…I thought Rose had died too…it was all very unfortunate." He said. I noticed him look down at Jo momentarily. "I didn't even know she was pregnant."

"How long were you two together before you were separated?" Gloria asked kindly, touching Jo's cheek.

"Two days." Mr. Dawson admitted. I was so confused. I didn't understand anything that was happening.

"What happened?" I asked, summoning up the courage. Mr. Dawson looked at me, surprised but there was something else in his eyes.

"My goodness but you look like your mother." He laughed. "We met on the _Titanic_, do you know what that is?" I nodded.

"We learned about it in school." I said proudly. A grin emerged on his face.

"That's how we got separated too. I was real sick…in the hospital for a long time…and when I got out, I thought your mom had died, but she was already in California about to have a baby."

"Oh my…" Gloria said, looking at Mr. Dawson with sympathy.

"Well, it doesn't matter now, does it?" He replied. "What matters is that we're all here now and we are okay…" The door opened and Mama found us gathered around him. She raised an eyebrow, but picked up Luke.

"They said that we could use the chapel…there's a priest on his way. He's going to bring all the paperwork needed." She paused, looking at Jo. "I hate to leave her alone."

"I'll stay." Mr. Dawson said. "I owe her." Mama looked a bit uncomfortable.

"Are you sure?"

"Go…it's fine." He said waving us off.

The chapel was tiny, with only about ten seats in it. We waited a few minutes before the priest came in. Dave and Gloria signed the papers first before the priest began the ceremony.

"Do you, David Christopher Stirling take Gloria Marie Edwards to be your wife?"

"I do." Dave said. He looked a bit nervous, but was smiling.

"And do you Gloria Marie Edwards, take David Christopher Stirling to be your husband?"

"I do." Her voice was small like a child's, but she was very pretty and I liked her instantly.

"I now pronounce you husband and wife. You may kiss the bride." Dave pressed a quick kiss to Gloria's lips and turned to Mama.

"That was great…now can we get out of here before one of us gets claustrophobia?" Mama and Jonathan laughed.

Jo didn't wake up for three more days and I wasn't even there for it! We had been there all morning and Luke started whining about being bored, so Dave and Gloria took us to a toy store for a little while to get our minds off things. Of course, I wasn't so easily distracted. When we came back Mama and Mr. Dawson were walking into the cafeteria. They noticed us and stopped, both of them were smiling.

"What's going on?" Dave asked.

"She's awake." Mama replied. Dave looked at Gloria excitedly. "Leave the boys with us and go on over to the room." They practically sprinted down the hall.

"I wanna see Jo!" I complained. Mama took my hand.

"You can just as soon as we get some food."

"But _Mama_…" I whined.

"James Todd Calvert…enough." She said warningly. I sulked, but walked with them. The women gave us food, but Mr. Dawson insisted on carrying it, much to Mama's protests.

"This is absurd, Jack. I am thirty-seven years old, I'm not a child…"

"I can't hear you…" Mr. Dawson replied in a sing-song voice. I smirked and he must have noticed, because he winked at me as we walked into the room.

"Really, I am perfectly capable of carrying food myself, if you would have just…"

"Rose?" Mr. Dawson interrupted, setting the food beside Jo's bed.

"What?" She fired at him.

"Just hush up for two seconds, 'kay?" I laughed. Jo, who was sitting up rolled her eyes.

"Get a room…you're making us all sick." Mom whirled around in surprise, at Jo's half smile.

"Yeah Mom! Shut up already…he's just helping!" I added, causing her to glare at Mr. Dawson.

"Nice!" She said, simply steaming. "You…are so annoying." The look of amusement never left Mr. Dawson's face.

"Yes…we covered that point…about twenty years ago." He beamed at her with mischief in his eyes. Mama finally smiled, but stopped herself. I stepped forward.

"I like him Mom…he's funny."

"Me too!" Luke cried, irritating me.

"Copycat!"

"Would everyone stop fighting for two minutes? I have not eaten since New Years Eve!" Mama set a bowl of hot cereal before her to which Jo cringed.

"It's that or nothing, Josephine, so I suggest you eat." Jo began to eat as Mama turned back to Mr. Dawson. "And by the way, Jack Dawson…you were annoying then and you're annoying now!" A tiny smirk turned his lips.

"You weren't complaining then…"

"Too much information, thank you…" Jo muttered with her mouth full.

"And another thing!" Mama went on, ignoring her. "I still haven't forgiven you!"

"I hadn't expected you to Rose. You're too proud. And I don't blame you if you never forgive me." He said sincerely. She threw her arms up madly.

"Fine, I forgive you!" I looked at Jo in confusion. She bit back a laugh and shrugged, patting the bed next to her. I climbed in beside her.

"What's _wrong _with her?" I asked. She bent down and grinned.

"She's a loon." I couldn't help it. I laughed.

"What?" Mama asked testily.

"Oh, I was just wondering when you two were going to kiss because you're driving us all nuts."

"Very funny…" Mama said, turning to look at Mr. Dawson, who was not smiling any longer. She looked back at us.

"Go." Jo said. "Twenty years is a long time to catch up on." Being the nosy child I was, I watched as they went into the hallway and crept over to sit beside the door so I could listen. Jo was distracted as Luke crawled into her lap and she was enthralled with Jonathan. They kept kissing. It was disgusting. I vowed never to be that gross with a girl. I turned my attention to the conversation in the hall. I noticed Mama and Mr. Dawson were sitting beside each other, and he had taken her hand. It wasn't in a romantic, disgusting way like Jo and Jonathan, but it was like Mama and Daddy used to do when they were happy.

"…As soon as I got to Santa Monica, I met this woman straight away, Liz Stirling. She offered me a place to stay and helped me find an apartment that I could afford. I got a job at this restaurant, diner type place by the beach."

"When did you realize you were…you know…?" He asked.

"About three weeks later I got sick at work. Really sick. I threw up all over the floor of the diner." She said. "They sent me home and Liz took me to the doctor, who pretty much floored me. He said, 'Mrs. Dawson, you're pregnant.' I must have stared at him for about ten minutes with my mouth hanging open." She laughed. "Then he asked how old I was and I said seventeen. He just looked at me with pity…it was ridiculous."

"Were you alright? I mean…how did you react?"

"I was scared shitless, but you know at the same time, I got a little bit excited because…well…you were…I thought you were…and then…you know." She seemed embarrassed.

"Yeah. I know." He replied grimly.

"I was going to name her Jack. I thought she was a boy…I was so sure…and then she was a girl and I was completely thrown for a loop. Then I started thinking about that song…you know the one…" He let out a chuckle.

"Oh my God…that is funny." She nodded.

"It was…but it fit. Her middle name was for Molly."

"That was nice of you." Mr. Dawson said.

"She was the only genuine person I ever knew when I was with them. You know?"

"Oh I know." He agreed. "Do you have pictures of her as a baby?"

"Of course!" Mama replied with a laugh. "I only have one with me…but there are pages and pages in the albums back in Cedar Rapids…she was adorable."

"She's just like you, Rose." He said quietly. Mama shook her head.

"No…she's not. She's like _you_. It's frightening…she looks mostly like me, but she's _you._ Her personality, her talent…sometimes, when she makes certain faces, it was like seeing a ghost."

"Yet, here I am." He sighed.

"Yes…here you are. And you look exactly the same." She added. "But you're grown up."

"You are too." He conceded. "I can't believe you've had three children."

"You'd believe it if you saw my stomach." She joked.

"Oh stop." He said with a yawn.

"You haven't slept in days, Jack." She observed.

"I have all the time in the world to sleep." He replied, "There's no time limit. Not anymore." She began to laugh then, escalating into hysteria. "What's so funny there, Red?" He asked brushing a red curl from her shoulder.

"I just realized that this is only the sixth day we've ever been together." She choked, laughing even more. He joined her after a second, and quickly, they were heaving with laughter. I watched as her hand brushed his chest and he caught it, the laughter fading. They stared at each other for a minute before he leaned forward and they kissed. A few days before this might have bothered me, but somehow, I just knew that Daddy would have been happy for her.


	5. Jamie's Birthday Surprises

As fate would have it, we did end up moving to Boston in early February and Mr. Dawson, whom we quickly came to call Jack, went with us to help. It was hard, packing up everything we knew and moving to Massachusetts. I stopped to look back at my empty, darkened bedroom for a moment.

"It's hard, isn't it?" I turned to see Jo standing there with Mama, Luke and Jack.

"Yeah." I choked. I hadn't even realized I was crying. Jo came to stand beside me and placed a hand on my shoulder. All of my memories were here. Daddy, Mama and Luke and Jo…This was the only home I had ever known, and I didn't want to leave.

"It's going to be great in Boston, Jamie." She assured me.

"I know…" I whispered and I felt Mama's soft hand touch my arm as Jo fell back to stand with her father and Luke. Mama crouched to look into my eyes.

"Hey." She said, touching my wild red curls. "No one's forgetting your Daddy, Jamie. How could we ever? We loved him so much." This made me feel better, and I summoned up the courage to nod.

"I'm ready." I said, my voice back. I looked up at Jack, who smiled at me and I felt better.

The house we moved into in Boston was an old fashioned house that had been there for over a hundred years. It was amazing with little nooks and crannies to hide in. Jo even had a room there to stay in until her wedding in April. She said that eloping wasn't her idea of romance and that she wanted a real wedding. Jonathan in turn, moved to Boston as well, though he was keeping the Philadelphia house he owned.

Mama married Jack in the middle of February with a few guests. They got married in a church and we had a dinner afterwards. There was no procession or anything, Mama simply walked down the aisle. I got to stand with Jack while Jo stood beside Mama. They even let me hold the rings until the time came to put them on. Jack winked at me as he took them from me.

"I do take thee to my husband." Mama began to cry and Jack chuckled while taking her hand.

"I do take thee to my wife." I couldn't suppress a yawn then, not because I was bored, but because I had stayed up all night worrying that I would screw up or lose the rings. Jo must have noticed me yawn because she smirked at me. They finally kissed and I heard Jack murmur to my mother,

"Those better be tears of joy, Red."

"You know they are." She replied.

"I love you…you have no idea how long I've waited to say that." He laughed. She laughed, but was still crying.

"You have no idea how long I waited."

That night, Mama and Jack spent the entire night with Jo, Luke and I. There was no party or anything. We all changed into our pajamas and sat on the couch in our new living room looking through old photo albums. Luke, of course, was still very little and fell asleep nearly right away. Mama took him to bed and rejoined us. Jo sat beside Jack and I sat between him and Mama.

"These are fairly newer photos." Mama explained, pointing out everyone. "Here is Jamie…" She squeezed my shoulder. "You were a baby then, see?"

"Look at how fat you were!" Jo laughed. "How cute!"

"Shut up." I muttered, looking at Jo's braids and big smile in the picture.

"How old were you here?" Jack asked Jo.

"Eleven." Mama answered for her. "That was Jamie's first birthday."

"I remember that day!" Jo said excitedly. "He tried to eat his birthday cake without his hands and he had icing in his hair for a week." They all laughed, but I was not amused. Mama turned to page to reveal a picture of her holding Jo when she was about Luke's age. Her hair was in braids again, but she looked a lot different. She was chubby and her eyes were big and bright and she still had baby teeth. Mama looked like a little girl in the photo. Her face was thinner and more tired and her hair was tied back. She was smiling though.

"This is you?" Jack chuckled in disbelief, nudging Jo. She turned red.

"Yeah…"

"Look at all that hair!"

"Yes, well…my children were doomed by this mop." Mama said, gesturing to her own hair.

"I like your hair. It's gorgeous." Jack assured her, making her blush. Mama smiled until she turned the page. Her face became grim.

"What's wrong?" Jo asked. Biting her lip, Mama showed us the photo. It was Mama and Jo again, but Jo was a tiny baby in this picture.

"This was the one year anniversary of the sinking." She answered quietly.

"Oh, Rose…" Jack said sympathetically, taking her hand. I remembered the little I had learned about her being on that ship. Jo looked uncomfortable.

"It was so hard…that first one." She said as a tear made a shiny path down her cheek. "I took her to the pier."

"Yeah?" Jack asked, sounding surprised.

"It was what you would have wanted."

"You're absolutely right. I'm proud of you Rose." He said, and he really did sound proud.

"You know what?" Jo said, standing and pulling me up with her. "Jamie and I have some worlds to design…we'll just leave the two of you alone." I looked up at her hopefully.

"We're gonna…you're gonna draw me something?"

"You bet. Just like old times, Jamie." She said with a wink, turning back to Mama and Jack. "Goodnight Ma…" She stopped, staring at Jack for a moment before moving forward to give him a quick hug. He stood and held her very tightly for a moment before pulling back and ruffling my hair.

"Hey…" He said kindly, "Me and you…tomorrow Jamie. We're going to have ourselves a time."

"Really?" I asked excitedly, then darkened. "Does Luke have to come?" Jack shook his head.

"Just me and you, buddy." He said. I couldn't help myself, I moved forward to hug him too. He beamed down at me just like Daddy used to do, and I felt a warmth come over me. Of course, that could have been Mama, sweeping me into her arms for a kiss on the cheek, but this was different. This was contentment. I was truly happy for the first time since Daddy died. Jo and I went upstairs and I talked as she drew the picture of the enchanted forest. We fell asleep together like that with her laying sideways on my bed and me curled up at the top.

Jack took me to the Boston Children's Museum the next day where they had everything from cars to animals. There was an exhibit about the Old West which I loved and there was an art exhibit which Jo would have liked, but my favorite would have had to be the exhibit on the recent World War. The thought of fighting for my country sent a small thrill through me as I looked at the figurines set up to display a scene of battle. Jack let me call the shots, following me. He crouched to look at things with me and listened when I went on about something I was excited for.

As we left the museum that day, we stopped for hot dogs and he sat me down.

"When it gets warmer outside, I'm going to take you and your brother to Fenway park to watch a baseball game." He said sincerely. "But I want you to know that I am not trying to replace your dad, Jamie, okay? You don't have to call me Dad if you don't want to."

"Okay." I said, unsure of how I was feeling. I liked Jack, but I had never thought about calling him Dad until he said it. Then I remembered Jo…who had grown up without a father and when my Daddy had married Mama, she'd called him Dad without hesitation.

"One day at a time, right?" Jack said, grinning down at me. I nodded at him. "Come on, let's get home to your Mom, brother and sister."

"Did you have a good time?" Mama asked when we walked into the house. She bent to kiss my forehead before kissing Jack.

"It was the best!" I exclaimed.

"We looked at everything." Jack agreed. "Jamie's got great taste…we especially liked the World War exhibit."

"Good!" Mama said, "Luke is in the kitchen and Jo is out with Johnny tonight, so you two are just in time for dinner."

"What are we having?" I asked anxiously.

"Spaghetti." Mama said, "Your favorite."

"Mine too." Jack said, following Mama into the kitchen. He tickled Luke, making him giggle and sat down. I met Mama's eyes as we all sat down together and I realized I hadn't stopped smiling since this morning. Her eyes were brilliantly blue as she grinned at me and winked.

"Eat Jamie." She said gently.

The days seemed to fly by and it was suddenly my tenth birthday, March 21st. We were having a dinner with Jo, Johnny, Uncle Randy and Aunt Liz and Aunt Livvy and Uncle Grant. Belinda was their along with Dave and Gloria. Johnny had also brought along his little sisters Grace and Bianca, whom I had met once before. They were silly giggly things and though I liked them, I longed for a friend my age who was a boy. Jo had helped make dinner, Mama's favorite, stuffed chicken with asparagus. Mama and Jack had given me a bicycle for my birthday, which Luke was extremely jealous of.

As we all sat to dinner, I waited impatiently because I wanted to get right to the cake which Mama would never allow. The cake was chocolate with little candies on it. I had spent the entire day admiring it and waiting for when I would be able to eat it. Mama had slapped my hand playfully when she caught me trying to take some of the frosting with my fingertip.

"I don't think so James…" She'd said, but she was smiling. Tonight, I sat between she and Jo. Jo took it upon herself to serve the dinner and set the table. Mama tried to argue but Jo shushed her.

Everyone excitedly began to chatter and serve themselves, but Mama had stopped, staring ahead in confusion. All the color drained from her face.

"Mama?" I asked quietly. Jack looked back from his conversation on the other side of Mama.

"Rose?" He inquired, his eyebrow quirked. She shook her head, closing her eyes. The room went silent as Jo leaned in.

"Ma?" Her voice quavered. Mama pushed her food away and covered her eyes with her hands. "Stuffed chicken is your favorite!" Pushing away from the table, Mama rose and turned but she didn't make it far enough and we could hear as she threw up into the potted plant in the hall outside the dining room. Jo sat back down, looking a little green in the face. Jack had since gotten up to help Mama and Luke had noticed nothing and gone on eating. Everyone else ate in silence, before Aunt Livvy broke the calm.

"Poor thing. This weather isn't good for anyone."

"She doesn't get sick." Jo said.

"What?" Aunt Livvy asked. Jo met her eyes.

"She doesn't get sick."

"Everyone does sometimes." Aunt Liz interjected reassuringly.

"I'm sure she's fine." Dave added.

Mama came back a few minutes later with an apologetic look on her face.

"Do forgive me." She chuckled. "A slight queasy moment." Patting my head, she sat down again. After dinner and cake, I played blissfully with my new toys while Mama rested on the sofa. Johnny had taken his sisters home and Belinda lounged near Jo, Dave and Gloria. Jack sat in the armchair reading the newspaper, eyeing Mama every so often. I marveled at how calm he remained through everything.

"Doctor tomorrow, Rose." He said firmly and she nodded.

"One step ahead of you…" She replied weakly.

Jo stayed with us the next day when Mama went to the doctor with Jack. They returned less than two hours later, both of them looking dazed and out of sorts.

"Well?" Jo asked, impatiently, getting up to take Mama's coat.

"I need to…to sit down…" She said quietly. Jack sat first, his eyes wide. We stood before them, staring them down as Luke climbed into Mama's lap.

"Tell us now!" Jo demanded, her arms crossed. Mama looked up at her and then and me.

"I'm pregnant." She said softly. Jo and I exchanged glances and suddenly we began to laugh.

"What?" Jo giggled.

"Pregnant…baby…" Jack managed. The two of them were still staring ahead as if in a trance.

"S-seriously?" Jo whispered.

"You're having a baby?" I asked my mother. She nodded, looking down at me.

"Oh my God…" Jo said, sitting in the nearby armchair. I bit my lip unsure if we were happy or upset about this. Mama and Jack weren't giving off any certain emotion and I was completely confused.

"Is this good?" I finally chanced. Mama seemed to sober.

"Oh…yes. I mean, of course it's good Jamie…but so fast…I thought I was done…a baby?" She looked at Jack for confirmation. He nodded, deep in thought as he glanced at Jo, who had a clandestine smirk on her lips.

"Smile Dad…" She said, patting his hand. He looked completely shell shocked, but there was a slight exhilaration to his demeanor as well. There was an awed look in his eyes.

"Where do babies come from Mama?" Luke asked curiously. Mama put her arm over her eyes and collapsed against the back of the sofa. Jack chuckled and I looked at Jo, who only shook her head. Then I grinned.


	6. Josephine Hockley

**April 10, 1933**

Our house was in chaos.

The Stirlings were all here and between them and us, you couldn't move. Jack and I were at Mom's bidding, running around, cleaning up this, off to the store for ice…to pick up the cake.

By noon, I was exhausted. Jack must have noticed because he grinned at me.

"You think this is bad, Jamie? You have no idea." His voice lowered. "Women are crazy."

"Jack!" Mom had come up behind him. She half heartedly smacked him. "Did you get the cake?"

"Yep. It's in the kitchen."

"What about the—"

"All taken care of, Rose. I'm nothing if not efficient." He soothed.

"I'm sorry, it's just between getting sick and helping Jo with her hair, I'm ready to collapse." She slumped against Jack's arm.

"Hey, it's okay, ya know? Weddings aren't fun until they're over." He laughed.

"Tell me about it." I added. "Where's Johnny?"

"Oh, Dave is with him in the guest house." Mom replied. "I told them they could get ready here, but Jonathan didn't want to accidentally see Jo before the wedding."

Jack chuckled.

"How is she doing?" He asked Mom.

"How do you think?" Mom said sympathetically. "She's doing her usual where she pretends to be calm, but you know she's panicking on the inside so that we don't worry about her."

"I'm going to go see her." Jack said, but Mom held his arm.

"First, get dressed and ready. Then come. Get Jamie ready too. Luke is done."

"Aw…why do I have to wear a suit?" I moaned. She gave me the death stare.

"James Todd, get upstairs this minute."

"Ooh…" Jack said teasingly, "Better do it or her head'll explode."

Mom growled at him.

"Rose, sit down before _you_ collapse, okay?" He said, ushering me up the stairs.

"I think I'll just rest my eyes for a moment." She said, sitting in a chair.

"Good," He said quietly so that she couldn't hear. "She needs a nap. She didn't sleep at all last night."

"Why?" I asked.

"She's just…excited for your sister. And a little sad." He explained, pulling me into the room gently. Our clothes were laid out on the bed.

It's much easier for men to get dressed. We were ready in seconds. Mom came tiredly into the room to survey us.

"Perfect." She yawned.

"Ma!" Jo called from in the hallway. Belinda appeared at the door first all dressed up. She was standing up in the wedding with Gloria. Jo followed, and looked…well, like Jo but a bride.

She looked really pretty.

"Wow." Jack said, looking at her. Jo smiled quickly.

"Thanks, um…" She turned to Mom. "I don't have anything blue. I can't wear this awful thing you gave me."

Mom laughed.

"Of course not. I cringe at the thought of it." The two shared a private giggle. Jack looked down at me in confusion.

"I have no idea." I said. Mom turned to us and noted the dual looks of bewilderment.

"Show them Jo."

Jo opened her hand to reveal a big, ugly gemstone on a chain. I made a face.

"That _is_ ugly." I agreed. I looked up at Jack for confirmation of this, but he looked strange. It was almost as if he wasn't sure if he were amused or horrified.

"How…?" He asked in disbelief. "How did you get that?"

Mom smiled wryly, crossing her arms.

"Cal put his coat on me when…well, you know. Unfortunately for him, he forgot this was in the pocket." She took it from Jo. "Ugh." Jack took it gingerly from her.

"Why didn't you sell it?" He asked. Shrugging, she took it back.

"I came close so many times…but I…I couldn't. It was sort of like the only connection I had left to you."

"Besides me of course." Jo piped in with a laugh.

"Right." Mom said, handing the necklace back to her. The clock began to chime that it was one.

"Where is Luke?" Jack asked.

"Right here!" Gloria said, coming into the room holding Luke's hand. He was giggling. When Gloria let go of his hand, he ran straight to Jo, who messed his hair. Gloria looked even more pale than her usual self today, but somehow it only made her prettier. Her big blue eyes were wide with laughter.

"I think I hear my Mom calling us." Belinda said, starting toward the door.

"Tell them we'll be right down Lindy." Jo said, sending Luke off with her.

"I'll join them I think. Dave and Jonathan will meet us at the church." She hugged Jo quickly. "I'm so very happy for you, Jo."

"Thanks." Jo said, looking a little uncomfortable with everyone's eyes on her.

"Get used to it, sweetheart." Mom said, seeing her discomfort. "In a bit, every eye in Boston will be on you."

"Great." Jo muttered.

"Come on, hon. The car is waiting." Mom said, pulling me along.

"Mom…" I groaned.

"Hush up." She scolded lovingly. "You are my escort, remember?"

"Yeah." I grumbled. Jo smirked, folding her arms.

The church was so crowded, everyone in Massachusetts had to be there. Jo was taken in the back so no one could see her. I saw Dave and Johnny standing near the door. Dave grinned at me. Johnny looked nervous. His stepmother was standing beside him, holding his hand. His two sisters were with Jo because they were walking down the aisle first.

"My goodness he looks like his father." Mom said, smiling fondly at Jonathan before pulling me to the back room where Jo waited.

Jack and Jo were laughing about something when we walked in.

"I didn't know!" Jo cried. "You said I wasn't bad for a beginner."

"You should have seen her," Jack laughed. "She fell as soon as her skate touched the ice." I heard a sniff and looked up at Mom.

She was crying already. I tried really hard not to roll my eyes. Stupid girls.

"Oh Mom…don't…" Jo said, dropping her smile.

"I can't believe this is happening." Mom said, hugging her. "I'm not ready to give you up."

"You'll never have to give me up." Jo comforted, staying calm as always. I noticed her swallow though, and I could tell she was really close to crying too. Jack looked at the floor. Gloria, Belinda and Johnny's sisters all moved toward the window to give them some privacy.

"I feel like I never had you." Jack said quietly.

"See, that's where you're wrong…" Jo said, letting go of Mom. "Jack…" She stopped herself, smiling slightly, "Dad…you _always_ had me." She took his hands and squeezed. He wrapped his arms tightly around her and they embraced.

Then she turned to me.

"Jamie…" She said, now sounding like she was near tears.

"Well don't look at me." I teased, "I'm glad you're leaving!"

"James!" Mom said, looking ashen, but Jo burst into laughter. I smiled too as she crushed me into a hug.

"I love you Jamie." She whispered.

"Yeah…yeah…" I muttered, patting her back. "Get off me."

"Rose?" Aunt Liz came into the room. "It's time." She said. Mom nodded, holding out her hand to me. She touched Jo's arm once before we left.

We walked down the aisle first to the front row, where Luke was already seated with Aunt Liz and Uncle Randy. Johnny and Dave stood at the front. Grace and Bianca Hockley were next to walk down the aisle. They were pretty girls, but all they talked about were boys and their hair. Belinda was next, her brown hair piled into pretty curls on her head. Finally, Gloria came out, looking pale still but she was smiling so wide, I was sure it was my imagination.

And then came Jo.

Her gown was huge, the sleeves sitting off of her shoulders and the entire satiny thing covered with beaded lace. Her red curls were pulled up and adorned with a headband that held her veil. The veil covered her face. I looked at Jonathan.

I could have sworn I saw a tear.

"Who gives this woman to be wed?" The priest asked. Jo looked at Jack expectantly. He smiled affectionately.

"Her mother and I do." He pushed back her veil and kissed her check. I noticed him whisper something that I couldn't make out, but both Jo and Johnny laughed.

He sat on the other side of Mom, winking at me in the process. The ceremony was torturously long, and right then I made a mental note not to ever get married.

"…Do you, Jonathan Caledon Hockley take this woman to be your wife?"

"I do." Johnny replied thickly, looking at Jo, whose face I couldn't see.

"Will you honor her and protect her? Through sickness and in health, until death parts you?" The priest asked.

"I will." Johnny promised. I looked at the ceiling. Jack must have noticed because he leaned down and whispered, "Not much longer." I sighed.

"And do you, Josephine Margaret Dawson, take this man to be your husband?"

"I do." Jo said in a tiny voice.

"Will you honor him and cherish him? Through sickness and in health, until death parts you?"

"I will." She breathed. Mom let out a breath too. Jack squeezed her hand supportively.

Finally, they were announced husband and wife and Johnny kissed Jo so fiercely, he had to catch her from falling back.

"That's disgusting." I said with a grimace. Mom laughed through her tears and Jack picked up Luke, who had fallen asleep on the other side of him.

"Can we eat now Mom?" I whined. She kissed my forehead.

"Yes sweetheart. Let's get to the Hockley's house."

The reception was miles better than the wedding itself. There was music and dancing and, best of all, there was an enormous cake.

"When can we eat that?" I asked and Luke looked up at Jack.

"Is it Jo's birthday?" He asked. Jack chuckled.

"No. When people get married, they have cake to celebrate it."

"Oh, okay."

"Let's sit down." Mom said, guiding me toward where Jo and Johnny were. Jo grinned at us.

"Oh good, you're here." She said, taking Mom's hand.

"I can't believe this is real." Mom said quietly. "Everything is so different than it was a year ago."

"I know." Jo said as she linked her arm through Jonathan's. "We were still in Iowa." She looked at Jack. "And you're so happy now…"

"And the new baby." I added.

"Yes, which reminds me. We need to eat soon because eating for two is a bit rough on the body."

"Very soon." Jack assured her. "Are you excited about your first night in the new house?" He asked Jo. Johnny had been steadily moving their things for the past few weeks and had been living there to get it ready for them. Jo was going to officially be living there tonight.

"Actually," Jo laughed, blushing, "I think both of us just want to sleep when we get home."

"It's been a long day." Johnny agreed.

"I can imagine." Jack added putting his arm around Mom's shoulders. I noticed that she sort of leaned on him to hold her up.

"Sleep sounds wonderful." Mom yawned, agreeing.

The food was good, and the cake was even better. Luke was covered in frosting. So were Jo and Jonathan because they mashed the cake into each other's faces. It was all very confusing.

"Now we ask that everyone please give your attention to the dance floor as Josephine Hockley dances the first dance with her father." I noticed Jack swallow really hard as he took Jo's proffered hand and led her to where the orchestra was playing. I heard a sniff and realized it was Mom.

"Why are you upset?" I asked her. She laughed, wiping her eyes.

"Oh Jamie, I'm not…not at all. I'm happy." She explained, extending her hand to me. "James Todd Calvert, would you dance with your mother?"

"Do I have to?" I chanced. She grinned.

"Yep."

I followed her and to my embarrassment, people were clapping when we started dancing. I heard a few ladies say, "Aw…"

"Mo-_om_." I complained. "These people are stupid. They're all saying mushy things."

"Just bear with it, James. It's one dance."

"Fine." I mumbled. "But I won't like it." I heard her stifle a laugh as Jo and Jack moved past us. A moment of silence passed between us. "Hey Mom?"

"Mmm?" She replied with a yawn.

"It's gonna be weird, you know. When the new baby comes." I said honestly.

"I know hon." Her eyes were soft. "Are you worried I won't have time for you?"

"No." I answered. "Just, you know…worried about Luke. He never knew Daddy and…just, give him enough attention." Her lips curved.

"It's nice to see you worried about him. Don't worry. Jack and I plan on keeping _both _of you very involved with the baby. And we both love you two so, so much. No baby will ever change that."

"But, Jo and the new baby are his _real _kids." I said stupidly, voicing my innermost fears. I really loved how Jack and I had bonded. I didn't want him to forget about me when his own kid was born.

"Just because he wasn't the man who fathered you doesn't mean he doesn't want to _be_ your father." She said easily. "Jamie, you two boys are all he talks about. The things he wants to teach you…he wants to take you to the cabin in Wisconsin this fall to go fishing and hunting."

"_Really_?" I asked sounding overly excited.

"Yes." She chuckled as the song ended. Leaning down, she kissed my cheek. "Thank you for dancing with me. I love you."

"Love you too Mom." I said, wiping my cheek. When she was looking, I smiled.


	7. Dad

Time flies. It really does. You don't notice it much when you're a kid, but once you reach a certain age, it seems to fly by without warning or care. After Jo married Johnny, the months began to go so quickly, even I noticed. Gloria, as it turned out, was also going to have a baby, explaining why she had been pale at the wedding in April. Mom began to get big again, like she had with Luke…and she was hungry all the time! There were also times when she was moody and tired, but Jack was pretty good at keeping her calm. It was very funny to see them together because it seemed like all it took was one look to make her happy.

It wasn't like they weren't affectionate. Quite the contrary. I can hardly remember a time when they weren't attached at the hip, with their arms around each other. It didn't disgust me like it did when Jo and Johnny were loving toward each other. It was midsummer already and it was possibly one of the hottest summers of my life. Mom and Jack had decided to take us on a trip to Chippewa Falls with Jo and Johnny coming along. They were going to meet us there. We were driving the whole way and though I was excited about the trip, I was definitely not excited about being stuck in a car for two days with Luke.

Lucky for me, both of us fell asleep about four hours into the drive and when I woke up again, it was night. Mom and Jack were talking quietly.

"I'm telling you, Rose," Jack was saying in a hushed voice. "I think we're going back to war…"

"I don't even want to think about it." Mom said, sighing.

"Something is happening over there…Germany. I don't know much about it, but people are starting to talk. Some person named Hitler." He replied. "He's no good."

"How is that going to affect us, though?" Mom asked, raising an eyebrow.

"I'm not sure yet. I hope it doesn't come to that though." He swallowed. "I really don't."

"Thank goodness the boys are too young to go." Mom replied, glancing back. I quickly pretended to still be asleep, but my mind was racing. What if we did go to war someday? Would I fight?

Yes.

If we went to war, I would join the army and fight the bad people. The idea began to form in my mind as I tried to picture myself full grown and in a uniform. I would get to have a gun and people would respect me because I was a soldier. I could not stop thinking about it, and, when we stopped for the night to sleep, I dreamed of being a celebrated hero. I dreamed I was given a medal and there was a girl…

I couldn't see her face, but her hair was dark, like ribbons. I was looking at her in a panicking crowd and I was…sad…I tried to reach for her, but she got lost in the mass of people. I searched and searched, but she was gone.

I woke with a start. I didn't even _like_ girls…why would I dream of one? Jack must have noticed I had woken up because he was looking at me with concern all over his face.

"What's wrong?" He asked. I shook my head.

"Bad dream." I tried to breathe. His eyes were bright with worry.

"It must have been pretty bad, Jamie." He replied, patting my shoulder.

"Yeah." I agreed.

"Do you want to tell me?" He asked gently. I shrugged, wiping my eyes.

"There was this girl…" I opted not to tell him the soldier bit. "And she needed my help, but I couldn't get to her and then she was gone."

"A girl?" Jack asked, looking bemused. "What did she look like?" I closed my eyes, trying to remember.

"She had dark hair…not like Mom and Jo's…it was straight. And shiny…and I _think_ her eyes were brown. But I couldn't see her face." I felt stupid even saying it.

"How old was she?" Jack asked curiously. I shrugged again.

"Dunno. Probably around Jo's age." I admitted. He smiled slightly.

"And why did she need your help?" He inquired.

"I don't know." I bit my lip. "I think it was because I was grown up."

"Oh…" Jack nodded, understanding.

"It's stupid, I know." I muttered.

"Not stupid." Jack assured me. "Just a weird dream."

"Why aren't you asleep?" I asked him. He looked at Mom.

"Bad dream." He replied and I noticed for the first time, he looked slightly distraught. His face was drawn and his forehead was beaded with sweat.

"What was it about?" I asked and he shook his head.

"Nothing that you would want to know about, kid." His voice sounded different than usual. He seemed like he was forcing words out of his mouth.

"I am not stupid, Jack." I said testily. Staring at me a moment, he took one more look at Mom before turning to me.

"I had a nightmare about Titanic." He said, looking sheepish.

"Oh." I said, understanding very little. I knew that he and Mom had been on that ship when it had sunk twenty-one years before, but it seemed like a million years ago to me. I wasn't even born yet.

"It doesn't happen very often, but when it does, it's bad." Jack said, looking at my mother again. "I have to make sure it was just a dream…and then I see you and your brother and your Mom and I can relax again."

"Well, that's good." I said, unsure of what else to say.

"I think," He said, "That it is time for you to go back to sleep. Dream about the smell of pine trees and fresh air, because that's where we're going to be tomorrow." I nodded, trying to envision this natural picture of Heaven that he'd described to us. The sparkling lake…the tall pine trees…

I fell asleep within seconds.

When we arrived in Chippewa Falls the next day, Jo and Johnny were already there, waiting for us. She was grinning with her wild red hair pulled up at the crown of her head. I'd forgotten how long her hair was. Mom got out of the car and looked at the small cabin and the surroundings. There was a line of tall pines on one side of the cabin and on the other was a meadow.

"Wild strawberries grow in that meadow." Jack was saying, pointing to it. You can pick them and eat them right out of the ground. They're tiny though."

"It's perfect." Jo said, bending to pick a wildflower that was growing near her feet. The entire area was covered in lush green and it was amazing. Jack had been right. It smelled like Heaven. Taking Mom's hand, Jack led us into the cottage, where Jo and Johnny had already prepared breakfast. Grateful, I sat at the small table and destroyed a piece of bacon. I looked at where Jo was lounging sideways on a chair with her legs hanging over the arms. I had never seen her look so relaxed.

All my life, Jo had worked hard…and now that she was finally happy, she seemed completely different.

"Hey Jon?" She asked, "You want to rub my feet?" I could tell she was kidding and Jonathan must have too, because he started laughing.

"That's disgusting, Josephine." He sat across from me, buttering some toast. Looking at my Mom and Jack, "When we visited Dave and Gloria, he rubbed her feet constantly."

"It was obnoxious." Jo agreed. "I mean, I know the poor girl is pregnant, but really!" They started laughing again. "Dave is such a sucker." She added. Mom shrugged, setting about getting food for Luke.

"It's nice to see him so in love with someone." She said. "He was never interested in anyone when you two were younger…so to see him so happy, it's nice." Jo nodded.

"It is…" She cracked up again, "Until you see him practically kissing his wife's feet!" Jonathan laughed again too.

"You'll understand when you get pregnant, Jo." Mom said, sitting down. Jack was looking through the cupboards.

"Ugh." He muttered.

"What's wrong, Jack?" Mom asked, helping herself to some food.

"Spider." He said, brushing it away. Jo sat up straight.

"Well, I'm not pregnant." She said firmly. "And I have no _intentions_ of being pregnant for a while."

Jonathan dropped his fork.

"Are you alright, Jo?" He asked.

"Fine." She said, too quickly. Everyone stopped what they were doing to look at her.

"Are you pregnant?" Mom asked incredulously. Jo looked from her to Jack and then, to Johnny, who seemed like he might throw up.

"No!" She sighed. "I don't know…" Jack immediately immersed himself into cleaning out the cupboard. "I'm two days late."

"Oh…" Mom nodded.

Late for what?

"I'm not ready." She said apologetically to Johnny, who nodded in agreement.

"Neither am I." He admitted.

"Late for what?" I asked, but was ignored.

"I mean," Johnny went on, "We only got married three months ago. I'm not ready to share you…"

"Well, you might not have a choice, you two." Mom pointed out. I sighed.

"Late for _what?_" I asked impatiently. Mom looked at me, but said nothing.

"It wouldn't be so bad." Jack chimed in. "It would be _different_, but not bad."

"It's not like you know nothing about babies, Jo." Mom added, filling Luke's glass with milk.

"I _know_ that." Jo said irritably.

"Late for what?" I asked, loudly this time.

"Nothing, Darling," Mom replied patiently, "Just something girls get when they are old enough to have babies."

"You mean the bloody thing?" I inquired, remembering Jo complaining about it once. Mom's eyes widened and Jonathan choked on his piece of toast.

"Yes…" Mom answered cautiously. "How did you know about that?"

"I heard you and Jo talking once." I said, uninterested again. I had gotten my answer. Jack was trying – unsuccessfully – to hide the fact he was laughing. I could see his shoulders shaking with mirth as he stood facing away from us.

"Stop laughing, Jack Dawson." Mom said, without even looking at him.

"Mom, am I gonna bleed too?" Luke asked worriedly. Jo burst into laughter, hiding her face now too. Johnny, I could tell, was biting the inside of his cheek to keep his amusement in.

"I…" Mom began, trying to remain diplomatic, but then she too began to laugh and everyone let it out. Jack fell to the floor, he was laughing so hard and Jo had tears coming out of her eyes. Mom leaned over and kissed Luke on the forehead, saying something to him that I could not hear. She looked at where Jack was lying on his back, still laughing and shook her head.

"Now then, Jo." She went on, "Have you been sick at all?" Jo shook her head. "Moody?"

"No." Jonathan replied for her. "She's been in a great mood." Mom studied Jo for a moment, before making her assessment.

"You're not pregnant." She said easily. "Just relax."

"How do you know?" Jo asked. Mom shrugged, taking a huge bite of food.

"You take after me." She said, "You would be sick as a dog."

"Huh." Jo said, visibly relaxing. Jack stood up and kissed Mom on the cheek, stealing a piece of her bacon.

"Get your own food, Dawson!" Mom joked, snatching another piece out of his hand. The sound of a barking dog came from outside and Jack looked out the window.

"I don't believe it…" He said, grinning like a fifteen year old. Opening the door, he went outside.

"Jack Dawson, is that you?" An older man asked. He was heavy set and his big, gray dog stood beside him.

"Yep. Haven't seen you in a long time, Earl!" He said, shaking the man's hand. "How are you?"

"Good…got me a couple grandkids now…Jenny and Jake." Earl replied proudly. "They're ten and eight." He said.

"Glad to hear it. I got me three kids…soon to be four." He gestured to Mom, who was standing beside him.

"That grown up girl there is your little girl?" Earl asked in disbelief, seeing Jo.

"Yep. She's twenty." Jack replied proudly.

"Looks like her Mama." Earl said, winking at Mom, who blushed.

"Sure does." Jack agreed, looking at me. "That there is our boy, James , and the little one is Luke."

"Hey! I'm not little!" Luke protested. Jack chuckled, but I wasn't listening anymore. He'd called me "our boy."

Did that mean he thought of me as his son? It was too much for me to hope for. It had been almost four years since Daddy had died. His face was so vague to me…but I still remembered him.

"_Where's Daddy?"_

"_He's…he's just running a little late, that's all James."_

"_Do you think he's okay?"_

"_Sure…I bet he'll be home any minute."_

I tried very hard to remember Daddy's face. I would know him anywhere and when I looked at the pictures, I remembered, but in my mind, I could barely see him anymore. I hoped he wouldn't be mad at me for thinking of Jack as my father, but I couldn't deny it any longer.

Jack Dawson was my father.

"Duke here just sired some pups." Earl was saying. "Your boys interested in one? I'll give it to ya for free." Jack looked at Mom, who looked at us. I could barely hide the hope in my eyes. She beamed at me.

"You want a dog?"

"Yeah!" Luke cried and I nodded.

"Yeah."

"Come on over then, I got eight of them at the house ready to go right now." Earl replied.

"Can we?" I asked Jack, who nodded.

"Sure." He kissed Mom. "Will you be okay while we're gone?"

"Of course." She said, laughing.

We followed Earl through a few trees to his house, where I could hear the faint yips of puppies.

"Duchess!" Earl called as another gray dog bounded out of the house with a gaggle of awkward pups following her. I counted them out. Seven.

"I thought there were eight." I said aloud. Jack frowned, counting them.

"Hey Earl, I think you're missing a pup." He said as the group bounded past us. Luke laughed as a couple of them stopped to play with him. I turned to look again and notice a pair of light blue eyes peering around the corner of the open doorway. I crept up and peeked around it. Sitting there, staring up at me with calm blue eyes was the eighth puppy. He was the most adorable thing I'd ever seen. His paws were too big for his little body and he had a slight potbelly because he was a baby.

That was my dog.

He sniffed my outstretched hand and licked it. I looked up and saw Jack leaning against the door frame with his arms folded. A small smile was on his face.

"That's your guy, huh?" He said, crouching to stroke the pup's head.

"Yeah." I agreed as the puppy yawned, revealing his tiny baby teeth. His eyelashes were extremely long and his face was so full of expression that I had to laugh at the way he was looking from Jack to me. He nudged my hand to pet him again. I gathered him up and his legs were surprisingly long for a puppy, hanging out of my arms. But he was so docile, it didn't matter.

"Earl," Jack called out to where Earl and Luke were petting the others. "We found our boy." He said. Earl looked surprised.

"That's our little runt." Earl said with a chuckle, coming over to check him out. "He's a bit shy, but a real sweet one." Luke reached up to pet his nozzle with his finger tips.

"He's cute." Luke said in approval. Earl gave us a collar and a leash for him and a bag full of food.

"Mary is having a big dinner tonight if you all want to come, Jack." Earl said as we were getting ready to leave. Jack nodded.

"I'll check with the wife, but I think it should be fine…thanks for the dog. It made my son real happy." He said, looking over at me. Again, I got the hopeful feeling in my chest.

Mom ran out to greet us and made a noise comparable to a squeal when she saw the puppy, who I still had cradled in my arms. Jo and Johnny joined us too.

"Oh my goodness!" Jo said, touching his little face. "He is a doll."

"No he's not!" Luke corrected her. "He's a hunter! Earl said we could take him huntin'."

"Not likely." Mom said gently, laughing. "You're too young to go hunting, Luke."

"Aw, Ma…" He complained, making Jo giggle.

"What's his name?" Jo asked and Jack looked at me.

"You picked him, James. What is his name?"

"Sam." I said quietly, setting him on his feet. He bounded around playfully for a few moments before plopping down and lying on his side. Everybody laughed. Jo and Johnny started back into the cabin and Luke followed with Mom, but I lingered behind.

"You happy with him, James?" Jack asked, sitting down in the grass beside Sam. I nodded, sitting there too. I rubbed Sam's stomach, which he loved. One of his big ears flopped over his eyes.

"I always wanted a dog." I confessed. Jack smiled.

"I think you found yourself a keeper there, James." He said as Sam yawned again.

"Did you mean what you said earlier?" I blurted. My eyes widened in fear.

"About what?" He asked, his light eyes confused.

"Do you really think of me as your son?" I asked bravely. His eyebrows raised in surprise.

"Yeah." He said quietly, looking me in the eyes. "I really do. You're a great kid…and I couldn't love you more if you were my own."

"Okay." I said, nodding and looking down. I felt a relief settle over me.

"You were really worried, weren't you?" Jack asked me, sounding entirely like a father.

"Yeah." I said, looking at Sam who had fallen asleep.

"And you're worried that I'll love Jo and the baby more than you and Luke?" He went on, voicing my worst fears.

"Something like that." I muttered.

"Jamie," He began, "I need you to know that isn't true, okay?" He held me by the shoulders. "Listen to me, James…I would take a bullet for you. Alright?" I nodded. "Alright?" He asked again, louder this time. "I need to hear you say you understand, James."

"Yeah." I whispered. "I got it."

"Good." He breathed. "Good." Same made a noise in his sleep. "You two are gonna be great friends." He said, watching me pet Sam. I thought so too. He began to rise and I stood up too. As he started toward the house, I called after him.

"Hey!" He turned back to look at me. I ran after him and threw my arms around him, hugging him as tightly as I'd used to hug my father. Looking up, I met his eyes and smiled. "Thanks, Dad." His eyes misted over, but he didn't let the tears fall. I noticed his expression break for the slightest of moments, but he took a deep breath and nodded.

"Come on, I can smell your Mom cooking something…and I bet it's good." He put an arm around me as we started toward the house. Turning back for a second, he whistled.

Sam sprung off the ground and ran after us.


	8. Uncle Jamie

**November 24, 1933**

I stared blankly at my mother as she asked me to set the dinner table, consumed with thoughts of bigger things like flying in an airplane and saving the world. For the past months, I had thought of nothing but the glory of war and had taken to listening to the radio at night to determine if there would be battle to be had. I dreamed of earning a medal and meeting the President of the United States one day.

"James!" She cried shrilly, nearly ready to burst into tears at the drop of a hat. It was the pregnancy Jack told me constantly. She had been extremely emotional throughout the whole ordeal.

"Crap." I muttered, reaching forward and taking the silverware from her. I watched her walk back to the counter to retried the dishes and saw her lean for a long moment on the back of a chair. "Mom?" I whispered, setting the silverware down on the table and rushing around the table to her. I noticed her face was a tiny bit sweaty and she was breathing heavily. "It's the baby…isn't it? It's…" I gulped. "Coming."

"Yes." She breathed. "It's started this morning, but I just thought it was nothing. It's definitely coming." I noticed the front of her pants were wet.

"You wet your pants, Mama!" I cried. "Hang on! I'll call Dad." I raced toward the telephone and dialed the office where I knew Jack was working." His stupid secretary answered.

"I'm sorry, Mr. Dawson is in a meeting. I will tell him you called…who is this?"

"His _son_!" I exclaimed irritated with the idiot. "My mother is having her baby. Please tell him!" I hung up on her and paced back and forth for a moment. "What do I do?" I said to myself. Picking up the phone again, I called Jo's house.

"Hockley residence." The housekeeper answered.

"Maria, is my sister there?" I screamed. I heard Maria gasped.

"James, is that you?" She said. "I'll get Jo." I could hear her call out. "Jo! Your brother is on the phone…I think something is wrong!" She came back to the line. "Hold on, love, your sister is coming."

"Jamie?" Jo's worried voice came on the line.

"Jo, Mama's havin' her baby!" I cried, hating the frightened tears rolling down my face.

"Where's Dad?" She asked me. I explained to her about his dumb secretary and the meeting. "Okay," she replied, "I will call the doctor and stop by the office to get him. Keep Luke busy, okay?"

"He's at his friend's house for the night." I said, vaguely remembering our other sibling in my panic.

"Good. See you in a bit. And Jamie?" She added, "It's okay. Mama's had three babies…she's going to be alright."

"Thanks, Jo."

"Just get her up to bed and ask her if she needs anything. Dad and I will take care of the rest, okay?" I never loved my sister more than I did at that moment.

"Okay." I said, reassured. I hung up and flew back into the kitchen. Mama was standing upright and smiling at me. She reached her hand out. "I have to take you to bed." I told her as if I were talking to a child. She smirked at me, but nodded.

"You're the boss, Mr. Calvert." I led my mother up the stairs to her bedroom and left so that she could get into her nightgown. Some women had babies in a hospital, but this time, she was going to have her baby at home with a private doctor. I guess it was because we were rich now.

The doctor showed up just before Jo arrived with Jack and Jonathan barely twenty minutes later. I had never seen Jack look so unsure of himself. Jo seemed calm and collected, gently leading me into the dining room to finish feeding me dinner. We ate quietly, listening to the ruckus above. I cringed every time I heard Mom cry out. Jo grinned at me.

"She's a strong woman, Jamie. She'll be fine." She took my hand and squeezed it. Johnny decided to teach me how to play poker after dinner to take my mind off of things.

"You're teaching my ten year old brother how to gamble? How charming." Jo said dryly.

"Are you worried he'll be better at it than you are?" Jonathan teased her. She rolled her eyes, taking the cards out of his hands and shuffling them on the table.

"Please…you still can't even beat me. Maybe _I_ should teach him." I watched Jonathan grin to himself, seeing Jo's competitive side come out.

"I let you win…" He told her, leaning over and kissing her cheek.

"Bullshit." She mumbled, but smiled despite herself. She began to expertly deal the cards to each of us and was in the middle of explaining what a full house was when we heard the piercing, undeniable cry of the new intruder in our lives. Jo looked up excitedly. I, however, was unimpressed. If it were a girl, I was going to be sadly disappointed. I watched as Jo and Johnny made no attempt to get up.

"Should we go look?" I asked, curious now. Jo shook her head.

"When they are ready, they'll come to us…Mama and the baby have to be cleaned up." She told me. Sure enough, a few minutes later, I heard footsteps and Jack appeared in the doorway looking slightly like he'd been through Hell.

"Well?" I asked impatiently. A slow grin spread across his face.

"It's a boy." He said in a quiet voice. "A big, healthy, blond boy."

"Blond? I'm jealous." Jo said, with a laugh. Jack shook his head.

"Your hair is beautiful." He assured her, winking at me and holding his hand out to me. "Do you want to come meet your brother?" I nodded. Jo and Johnny followed us. Mama was sitting up with the bundle of baby in her arms. She had her robe on and looked as calm as if she had just woken up.

"James…" She sighed, smiling at me. I stared into her blue eyes and felt myself move forward toward her. I peered down at my new brother, just as I'd once stared down at Luke and felt a soft spot grow in my heart for the little boy. I didn't even know his name, but I felt personally responsible for him. He was so tiny…he would look up to me. He was goofy looking like all babies are, but he was cute too. His hair was white blond on his head and he was fussing and flailing his little fists.

"Why is he mad?" I asked, staring at him. Mom laughed.

"He's probably hungry."

"Already?" I asked, shocked.

"Well, we didn't get to eat dinner…I'm sure he's ready for something to eat."

"Disgusting." I said, knowing full well how newborn babies ate. Jo laughed, moving around the other side of the bed and gingerly taking the baby out of Mom's arms.

"I suppose I'm relieved you're a boy…I was feeling a bit jealous at the thought of having another girl around here." She admitted to the baby, who stopped crying momentarily to stare our twenty year old sister down.

"Why on Earth would you worry about that, Jo?" Jack asked, sitting at the foot of the bed. "You're twenty…" Jo nodded, her lip quivering only slightly.

"Exactly…and I never got to know you until barely a year ago…this baby will have known you his whole life, but I didn't relish the thought of watching you be a father to a little girl…" She shook her head. "That's stupid, and selfish…I know. I suppose I'm not as mature as I'd like to believe."

"I guess it makes sense." Jack said. "It's amazing how cruel fate can be sometimes…but you have to know, it wouldn't change anything. It wouldn't then and it doesn't now. This baby is just another one of _us._ And we _all_ love each other equally."

"That's beautiful, Jack." Mom said, smiling.

"My Pops was a very smart man." Jack replied, grinning again. "That's what he said to Olivia when I was born." Everyone unexpectedly chuckled.

"What is his name going to be?" Jonathan asked, peeking over Jo's shoulder at the baby.

"I decided that he was going to be Jackson Dawson junior." Mom said. "I'm too tired to think of another name." She added, relaxing back into her pillow. I watched as Jo set little Jack, as he would come to be called, into Jack's arms. The baby began to wail. Jack looked helplessly at my mother.

"Would you feed this kid before he eats my finger?" He handed the baby off to my mother as she began to pull her robe aside. I flew off the bed. That was my cue to leave. It was gross.

* * *

Little Jack grew really fast. I assumed the role of his protector from birth, which my mother deemed "cute." I hated the word cute. I was now eleven years old. I was practically a man. Luke and I pretty much adored little Jack, and Dad, true to his word never treated us any differently. If anything, having a baby around made him love us more. He was always saying that he couldn't believe how lucky he was, going from a lonely, single man to a man with four children. Pretty soon, he would probably be the youngest grandfather I knew. Actually, he would be the only grandfather I knew.

Mom had a wacky old mother who was married to an old man around a thousand years old. She insisted on us calling her Grandmother, but I just called her Mrs. Cohen. She was fussy and made weird noises with her mouth when she didn't approve of something…which was often. Her lips were always pulled together like a drawstring purse. But, she loved us deep down, I could tell. I caught her smiling at me once when I was talking to my mother. We didn't visit her very often, but Mom always made sure we saw her a few times a year. It was funny to watch Mrs. Cohen interact with Dad. She seemed to over-compensate him with kindness. He got a kick out of it, but was never anything but polite to her.

Mrs. Cohen made such a fuss over little Jack; I thought she was going to slobber all over his fat pink cheeks.

"What a sweet baby!" She crooned to the kid, who took one look at her, then looked at Dad and began to wail. Dad hid his smirk and swept the six month old up, tickling his pudgy little belly. The baby laughed. Little Jack was fussy a lot because he was teething. Trust me, we all knew about little Jack's teeth because he used them…to bite. We tried to stop Mrs. Cohen when she touched his lips with her fingertip and he bit her. I couldn't help myself, I looked at Luke and we burst into giggles. Served the crazy old bat right, putting her fingers in the baby's mouth. She cried out in surprise, but then rewarded the baby with a cookie. It was revolting watching little Jack gnaw on that cookie until it was soft enough for him to eat.

"Why are you scowling?" Jo asked, sitting beside me.

"That old lady is weird." I grumbled. She giggled, putting her arm around me. I noticed she looked a little flushed, but didn't say anything. Luke, on the other side of me agreed.

"She always calls me 'Lukie.'" He said. "And she smells like moth balls."

"She does not!" Jo cried, laughing out loud and causing our parents to look over at us. Mom had an eyebrow raised and Jack looked interested.

"The kid has a point, Jo." Jonathan replied, sitting on the opposite side of her. "That woman wears so much fur, I'm surprised there are any animals left to provide new coats for her to buy."

"I think we should leave soon." Jo said to Johnny. "This heat is really making me sick to my stomach." Jo was right. It was one of the hottest days of the year and it just seemed to get hotter as the day went on.

"Maybe you should see a doctor…you've been feeling sick three days in a row." He said. I tended to agree with Jonathan. He was smart.

"It's the heat." Jo replied, fanning herself. "I can't stand it. It makes me want to…cut my hair off!"

"You're really flushed…I'm worried you could be running a fever, sweetheart." He insisted.

"Who's running a fever?" Mom asked, hearing this and moving toward us.

"No one is running a fever." Jo answered her, giving her husband a look and standing quickly. "I'm just not feeling well because of the heat. That is _all_."

"Are you sure? You don't look so well." Mom said, moving forward to place her hand over Jo's forehead.

"Ma, stop!" Jo said, reeling back. "I'm f-fine…I just need…"

I watched in horror as she turned a frightening shade of white before her eyes rolled up into her eyelids and she began to drop like a ragdoll to the floor. Johnny was quick, darting forward and catching her up in his arms. Mom screamed for Jack, while my heart began to pound unnaturally in my chest.

"I'll get a wet rag!" My grandmother called as Dad handed the baby unceremoniously to me while they hovered over Jo. Mrs. Cohen rushed by with her wet cloth and placed it over Jo's forehead. Johnny had laid her on the sofa and was gently trying to coax her awake. Mom stepped back, a look coming over her face as if she were realizing something. She said something too quiet for me to hear to Jonathan, who shook his head in confusion.

"Ruth, do you have smelling salts?" Dad asked the old woman, who nodded and rummaged through a drawer. Seconds later, Jo was awake.

"Jo." Johnny said, sighing in relief and kissing her forehead. "I think we should get you to the hospital."

"No…" Jo protested, trying to sit up. Jonathan eased her back down.

"Jo, heat exhaustion is nothing to mess around with—" He insisted. Jo brought her fingers to his lips to silence him, sighing heavily.

"I wanted to wait to tell you." She explained tiredly. "I had it all planned out."

"Tell me what?" He asked soothingly, brushing her hair back off of her face. She swallowed hard, looking him in the eyes.

"I'm expecting."

"Expecting what?" Jonathan asked, obviously too upset by his wife fainting to comprehend what she was telling him.

"Jonathan." She sounded just the slightest bit annoyed. "I'm pregnant. We're expecting…a baby."

"We are?" He asked, suddenly sounding as weak as her.

"Oh Jesus." Dad said, turning around and looking helplessly at Mom. She smiled knowingly.

"I'm surprised it's been this long." She told him, stooping to kiss his cheek before turning to take little Jack out of my arms. "And _you_ smell like you've made quite a mess Jack Andrew. I suppose I'll have to clean you up." I stared at my sister in wonder. Now _she_ was having a baby. Everyone was having babies. Even my sister.

* * *

The year continued. Little Jack got bigger, and louder…and Jo got bigger…even I got bigger. By Christmas, I had grown two inches since the summer. My niece was born on Jo's birthday. We were all asleep, at least I was…but I was woken abruptly by the shrill ring of the telephone. I trudged out of my room, walking into the hallway and heard Jack's voice from below. The baby had obviously been woken up by the telephone too, because he was crying… I could hear my mother talking to him softly.

"Is everything all right?" Dad was saying into the receiver. "Oh boy…we'll meet you there. I'll leave the boys with the housekeeper. See you in a bit." He hung up and took a long breath. "Rose!" He called, and stopped, seeing me at the top of the stairs.

"Is Jo having her baby?" I asked. He nodded, taking my hand and guiding me into the bedroom where Mom was feeding little Jack. I cringed.

"What is it?" Mom asked.

"The baby is coming." He told her. I watched her face pale a bit.

They returned a few hours later, after we'd woken up. Liz and Randy were there and had come to stay with us while my parents went to the hospital with Jo. I was waiting impatiently for news. My mother smiled down at us.

"It's a little girl." She told me, hugging me tightly. "Clara. She looks just like Jo."

"I don't like girls much, Mama." Luke said, making a face.

"She's your niece, sweetie." Mom explained. "You have to take care of her."

"Why?" Luke asked, making a face.

"Because she's little. Being an uncle is very important you know." Mom was very gentle with him, but I could tell she was amused. I wasn't disappointed with this news. I was happy for Jo and Johnny, and I knew Johnny would be a good father to a girl because he had two little sisters, Grace and Bianca. They were a little older than me, but they were nice, even if all they talked about were boys and clothes.

We met Clara the next day, when we visited Jo in the hospital. She was sitting up in bed with her hair loosely braided over her shoulder. She lit up when we came in. Luke ran straight to her and hugged her, but I hung back a moment, seeing the bundle in Jonathan's arms. He was sitting beside the bed in a chair, talking to what looked like a rolled up blanket with a lot of red hair sticking out of it. My mother was right. The baby looked exactly like Jo already, though it was unclear if her eyes would be more like Johnny's. I met my sister's eyes and smiled.

"Happy Birthday, Jo." I said and her eyebrows rose in surprise.

"Oh goodness!" Mom exclaimed nearby. "I'm so sorry, sweetheart! We forgot about your birthday yesterday." Jo shrugged.

"It's all right, Ma." She said, looking over at her daughter. "I got a pretty good gift."

"I'll say." Dad agreed, leaning down to kiss the top of Jo's head. "Happy Birthday, Jo." I watched Jo's eyes well up, but she smiled.

"Thanks, Dad." She said in a wobbly voice, the kind girls get when they're ready to cry. "I'm so emotional today…sorry."

"It's normal." Mom assured her, gingerly taking the baby from Jonathan. "You're going to be in trouble with her one day." She teased Johnny.

"I already am." Jonathan admitted. "I panicked this morning when Jo reminded me that she's going to get married eventually."

"That's a long ways off." Jo laughed, shaking her head at him. "At _least_ sixteen years."

"_Sixteen?_" He cried, his voice cracking.

"I said at least…" She giggled. Jonathan looked at Dad.

"How do men handle this?" He asked. Dad gave a shrug.

"I can't help you, Jon…but I can tell you, in the short time I've known my daughter, it was probably one of the most emotional moments of my life when I gave Jo away at your wedding almost two years ago."

"And the most rewarding." Mom amended, cutting in. "We wouldn't change anything." She assured them. Jo nodded, taking the baby from my mother.

"Let's not get ahead of ourselves here." She said, looking down at the baby. "Jamie, do you want to hold her?"

"That's okay." I assured her, not wanting to mess up. Girls were different. Little Jack was huge, but Clara was little…delicate looking. "She looks tired." I added. It wasn't a lie. She looked exhausted, the poor baby. I couldn't blame her. Being born seemed hard. One second you're warm and safe and the next, all hell breaks loose and you're in the cold while some strange man turns you upside and smacks your behind. I didn't remember being born, but I couldn't imagine that it was all that pleasant. I did know one thing though…I hoped fervently that if I ever had a kid, that I had boys.


End file.
